Weird especially that I said earlier today that I won't be blogging much, lol. Sometimes, I wish I could be a better mother. Sometimes, I wish I could devote more time to my kids and be more patient with them. Sometimes, I feel I am directing the way they should think, "do this and don't do that. No, this is not the way we do this, ...etc". I don't know, I feel guilty. What makes me really happy and proud and also makes me able to stand myself is that I know they know for sure that I love them, they feel it and they show it back in return with great passion. How many times a day have I heard "I love you mommy very much"? How many times a day have I been kissed and hugged from them? How many times have I heard "It's ok mommy, don't be sad."? How many times have I heard "I'm sorry mommy, I won't do this again."? How many times have I heard "Mommy, you are my friend, aren't you?"? and these sentences always make my days and also make me feel more guilty at the same time. It's all trial and error and I'm scared of doing something wrong along the way:( I want to give them the freedom to be able to make choices for themselves and at the same time, I'm scared of too much freedom especially that the whole society raises children with us and not only parents. I want to be their best friend. When Sarah does something wrong, she always immediately says, "Sarah is a bad girl:(" and I always promptly repeat that Sarah is not a bad girl, she is a very good sweet girl who sometimes does bad things, she doesn't get it!!! I have so many questions for the years to come and I have so many fears. Please God, help us and help me raise good people:) There is no point fpr this post except sharing some of my inner thoughts.