This is a positive post, it is not about crafts or arts or learning, it is about my daughters' words. A few days ago, I gave Sarah her jacket and told her to ask grandpa to help her with it. Do you know how she responded? She said, "No, I can do it myself. I can do everything. If I can't, I'll try." I left everything in my hand and went straight to her, kissed her and hugged her and told her, "Yes, you can. I am so proud of you." Well, she did and she could even zip it. Now, this is her motto. I am proud to have planted this feeling and self esteem in her. Today, she was struggling to wear her dress and starting to get frustrated, I asked her to calm down and she would be able to do it and again, she did. Yes, she is still scared of animals, strangers, ... etc but she believes in her powers and in herself and that is the most important to me.
Yes, I do not jump in to help or save her when she is struggling with something; first, I notice what she is doing, how she is handling it, how she is thinking and once I feel the frustration is rising, I interfere with my encouraging words, words of power and capability. Normally, this is enough for her to perform the task but if not, then I help a bit (not fully) and show her how it can be done and then ask her to do it all over again on her own. After a couple of trials, if she still can't do it, we stop but she usually tried again and again and again when I am not around and that is what I love about kids, they don't know the impossible! I was being judged a lot for that approach, people thought I was heartless for making my daughter carry her own bag or helping me with grocery bags or even letting her walk with me when she started walking, they thought I should carry her bag for her, hold her because she has just started walking and not bother her with anything. I believe I am not bothering her, she likes to interfere and participate in everything and I am glad I didn't listen to them and I'm even more glad that my husband supported me in this and adopted the same approach. yes, it takes more time to get things done NOW but I am saving for the FUTURE.
Anyway, I am just happy that my daughters can trust themselves and they can trust their mama.